"Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so, drop the matter before a dispute breaks out." (Proverbs 17:14 NIV)
Disputes are inevitable in today's time. Fathers are in conflict with sons. Mothers are in conflict with daughters. Brothers and sisters fall out. Divorce rate is spiraling out of proportion. To make matters worse, the disputes between the national leaders of our country are televised on national TV. This is a sure sign that we are living in the last days.
Solomon was a very wise King in his era. He was not a PERFECT man, but he was wise. He learned from the highs and lows of his life journey, and then he wrote the book of Proverbs to warn us so that we would not make the mistakes he made. The Lord led me to this passage this morning, "Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out" (Proverbs 17:14 NIV).
Do you know that one wrong word, one lie, one angry demand, or one bad choice leads to another? Solomon said, "..it is like breaching a dam..." A breached dam is a catastrophic structural failure. When flood waters rise above the normal capacity, it will cause a dam to breach. Once the breach occurs, it causes a negative impact on the dam and surrounding neighborhoods. In a spiritual sense, if we fail to apply wisdom as we address disputes, one wrong word can cause a breach in our relationships that will cause a negative impact in our families and generations to come.
Let's be wise, Women of God. Just because it's something that we don't like or make us mad, we don't have to ALWAYS dispute it. We have got to learn to choose our battles. It's not worth the risk of destroying your walk with the Lord. Learn to choose your battles. Let it go. Revenge, arguing, and giving people a piece of your mind is not a cure for your emotional security. It's a sign of your insecurity.
Here a few points to guide you through the process of choosing your battles:
Pray and ask God to reveal your anger and allow the Holy Spirit to calm it down.
Is the dispute worth risking the loss of a relationship?
Is the dispute due to a sinful act according to the Bible or your perception?
Is the dispute contributing to negative changes in your behavior? Consider seeking professional help or therapy. Many times, we get hung up on issues because we have not dealt with our hidden "personal" issues from our past.
REACH out to God-fearing women. Someone you can trust and talk about the dispute.
If you still can't let it go..... it's ok to discuss your concerns with the other party. Just remember that "a soft answer turns away wrath" (Prv. 15:1). "To answer before listening is folly and shame. (Prv. 18:13).
For His glory.....
Written by Sandra Kelley (8/7/2024)
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